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All rights reserved. ISBN No portion of this book may be reproduced, in whole or in part, or transmitted in any form, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording and information storage and retrieval, without the prior written permission of publisher. First Printing: March And not sexy ones either. Seems the only women wearing spandex these days are ones that have no business doing it. Massive women with enormous asses that push the material to its limits. Now that I think of it, maybe they aren't even wearing actual spandex. Maybe they were wearing some other material and as it stretched beyond it's natural limit, the material polymerized into spandex. It's just a theory. Anyway, when Nerraux asked if he could call me to make an appearance on Show 2, the thought that I would be a regular part of The Awful Show for the next three and a half years and counting had not even come close to the vicinity in the region of crossing my mind.
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Live Sex Cams. If anyone has the camel toe picture of the shot in question, please feel free to send it to us toes2you cameltoe. Here at The Camel Toe Report we try to come up with inane little quips about funny camel toe pictures. We try to make some social commentary along the way as well, when our little minds are functioning at their best. Read the full post. I dont really care about that. Toe Factor: 4. What is it about the Chevy Corvette that has attracted more cheese than any other sports car out there? Carlisle, PA is a town in SE Pennsylvania, not far from Harrisburg which is the state capital only because a long time ago the Redcoats controlled Philadelphia. Well, alright Hamilton!

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After working in retail all throughout college I can say I have observed some serious fashion distractions, ranging from the peek a boo thong sitings to the dumpy white Reeboks. I promise I will not think less of you if you are guilty of one or more of these on my list that is, ONLY if you have intentions of fixing these distractions. Shall we begin….. A little bend could go a long way. Do you see how stupid you look? I have seriously lost track of how many women I see walking around with uneven over used Uggs boots. I promise you I can hardly tell they are not the real deal. Please retire your Uglies immediately! For the record, I want you to know I nearly dry heaved while trying to find a picture of this. Do me and the rest of the world a favor…get some new socks.

All rights reserved. ISBN No portion of this book may be reproduced, in whole or in part, or transmitted in any form, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording and information storage and retrieval, without the prior written permission of publisher. First Printing: March And not sexy ones either. Seems the only women wearing spandex these days are ones that have no business doing it. Massive women with enormous asses that push the material to its limits.

Now that I think of it, maybe they aren't even wearing actual spandex. Maybe they were wearing some other material and as it stretched beyond it's natural limit, the material polymerized into spandex. It's just a theory. Anyway, when Nerraux asked if he could call me to make an appearance on Show 2, the thought that I would be a regular part of The Awful Show for the next three and a half years and counting had not even come close to the vicinity in the region of crossing my mind.

It has been quite a ride. I'll admit that when the notion of "Snacks" came along, I was very pleased. While I don't have anything against the structure of the regular Friday shows, it can be stifling at times. The Snack concept lifted that structure completely and gave all of us a chance to spread our wings. And with my wings spread, I've taken flight and generally shit on everything under the sun.

Since the Snacks have begun, mine has taken a number of different forms, such as Saturday Night SYN which was way, WAY more work than it was worth in the end and He Said, She Said Movie Reviews which fizzled out, mainly due to it being difficult to rely on so many people for material every week , but the snacks that have always been.

The ranting, raving, lunatic stream of consciousness that so many have laughed themselves to incontinence at. It feels great using this opportunity to put that same type of material in a form that can be taken anywhere, and that doesn't rely on batteries.

While I haven't recorded a classic snack in some time, that doesn't mean I haven't been keeping track of my bizarre notions in one form or another. Some stuff is scribbled in notebooks. Much of it is in my microcassette recorder. All of it, however, will be in this book. I hope you all get as much enjoyment out of reading this as you did from the audio recordings. And if you didn't enjoy my audio recordings, then fuck you. Before Comcast took away my Game Show Network that is. One of the contestants that they had on was a blind guy.

Typically, blind people wear sunglasses, but in this case he wasn't. And he had those kinds of eyes where one is looking straight ahead and the other is looking into the rafters or staring at the Big Dipper or some shit. If that wasn't bad enough, his eyes were also constantly moving around! I'm trying to watch the show and here's Ray Charles with these fucking crazy googly eyes making me sick.

I don't need to see that shit! Put the goddamn sunglasses on! I almost lost my fucking lunch watching this blind freak! And what the fuck do his eyes need to be rolling all over the place for anyway. The son of a bitch isn't going to be able to see no matter which fucking way he looks! Here's a new law I want to see put in place. Any time blind people are in public, they're required to wear sunglasses.

The next blind prick I see without sunglasses is getting my cookies tossed all over them. Fucking disgusting! She was taken to a county jail in Los Angeles, and I guess she was none to happy about it. Fuck her! I think what they should have done was stripped her ass naked, and thrown her into general population with nothing but KY Jelly and PCP.

Let those convicts anal rape that pig for about a week; week. The main reason for doing this was because of the commercials. My blood pressure must have climbed 10 points every time a commercial came on. A good deal of this book is dedicated to the all-mighty shit stew known as advertising. I want to warm up slowly so I'll pick a few of the more annoying ones to start. Here's the scene: 3 jackoffs sitting around eating Raisin Bran Crunch and waxing philosophic.

The first two wastes of hemoglobin are debating back and forth about the most important element of the cereal, between the raisins and the crunch clusters. After going round and round for what seems like a fucking decade, the third fucktard chimes in with something completely idiotic and offbeat. When he does, the first two look at him like he's giving birth to a baby walrus nasally.

News Flash! All three of you fucking imbeciles deserve to be beaten to death with a giant dildo! You're sitting around debating about a fucking breakfast cereal! Do the world a favor. Go to your local hardware store, buy a box of rat poison, sprinkle it liberally on that shitty cereal and then eat it!

You bunch of shitgasms! You're sucking the intelligence out of people every time your ugly baboon-ass faces are on the TV screen! Kill yourselves, you fucking colostomy bags! Oh, and by the way, I'm not really sure what a shitgasm is.

It just sounded good at the time. I guess it would be some manner of orgasm experienced while taking a shit. Either that or shitting while having an orgasm. It would seem the latter would leave much more cleaning to do. I've talked at length on the show about my hatred for outof-state drivers. But this is it. I've been pushed to the limit! You motherfuckers have been warned before! Now, the time has come to start killing you sons-of-bitches!

You know who you are! You fucking Ohio drivers that drive in Pennsylvania! From now on, you cocksuckers are going to start being killed! It's genocide time! If you're driving in Pennsylvania with an Ohio license plate, you're targeted, motherfucker! No warnings. None of this 3-strikes-andyour-out shit. This is your fucking warning right here! Stay in your own fucking state or you will die! And if you're moving to Pennsylvania from Ohio, get your plates changed before you cross the border.

If you don't, you'll be executed just like the rest! And you West Virginians who don't know how to use a fucking turn signal, you ball sacks are next! The Keystone State is now off limits to all you pricks! And don't even get me going on you Ontario drivers!

I can't drive 5 miles on the interstate without seeing some ass crack who thinks curling is a real sport. What the fuck is that about??

Oh, wait; let me rephrase that so you Canuck fucks can understand it. What the fuck is that aboot?? Like goddamn locusts, you moose fuckers just swarmed. Ontario, that isn't even in this country for fuck's sake! Show me a green card or die, you north-Mexican piece of shit!

Next time you cross the border is going to be in a fucking body bag! There's only one thing worse than a Ohioan driving a Ford. That's an Ontarian driving a Toyota. I'm working on embroidering that on a pillow. Here's another group of commercials that rubbed me the wrong way. Hillshire Farm decided to come out with this series of ads that revolve around the phrase "Go Meat"!

I don't know whom the drunken burrito fart that came up with that idea was, but someone got paid for it. There was one that was actually tolerable. Two chicks eating lunch.



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